Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
