I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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