There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
