Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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