Dude my mom stole all your condoms
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
