Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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