You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
