a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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