i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
