Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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