You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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