rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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