I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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