508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
