Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
