oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize