I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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