omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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