forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
