and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my shit smells like andre
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
