yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
