I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
