do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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