i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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