honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize