thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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