I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
