hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
