im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
