She said her name was "party"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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