careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
