the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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