its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
