How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
