There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
