it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
