last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
