Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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