You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
