I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize