i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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