I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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