Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize