Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
