they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
