I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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