Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
this hospital has no fireball
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
