i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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