Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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