i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
