I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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