My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
