I think my vagina is haunted
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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