I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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