I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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