Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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